Jack Facts
Nov 18th, 2008 by Chris
Hey new season of 24 is almost here!
Does anyone still watch this ridiculous show? Personally, I’m still amazed that I was able to sit through last season. Maybe it was because I watch all the episodes back to back. If I have to sit through commercials and wait a week in between hours I wouldn’t make it through the first 30 minutes. Still, there may be some hope for this new season if they finally manage to kill Jack Bauer and end the suffering.
My prediction: There’s some sort of terrorist attack planned on Los Angeles and Jack has a day to stop it. You heard it here first!
BONUS:
Found some fun Jack Facts during my online trolling. Kinda like the Chuck Norris facts, but about Jack Bauer. Naturally.
- There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Jack Bauer’s right hand and Jack Bauer’s left hand.
- When someone asked Jack Bauer if he was afraid of James Bond, he replied “What does ‘afraid’ mean?”
- Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.
- It takes you 24 weeks just to watch what Jack Bauer does in a single day.
- If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called “1″.
- Jack Bauer once showed up late for work. CTU adjusted their clocks accordingly.
- If Jack Bauer gives you his word that you’ll get your deal, then he really means it. Unless you killed David Palmer. Then you’re fucked.
- Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a “knock knock” joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
- On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
- If everyone on “24″ followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12″.
- Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer’s mind. Now he’s sitting in a wheel chair.
- If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service.
- Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.
- If a suspect mentions your name, while being interrogated by Jack Bauer, you have a 3.26% chance of surviving the next 3 hours.
- …and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, “I’ll take it from here.”
